A place to work out pain that leads into great joy. A place to find common ground. A place to be honest, and for each other. A place to share my mothering stories.
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Playing games with the most competitive, Leni Lou Mellon. So far she’s told me she gets to go first cause she is 4 and is the oldest. When I told her I am 33 so i’m older. She said “yikes! That’s old! You might die soon!” 🤣 But clarified it won’t be until I’m 100.
She’s also informed me that Shiloh forgot to take spirit (the imaginary horse) to school so she gets to play with her all day.
Loving 1on1 time with this sweetheart.
#leniloumellon
On our way home from errands this afternoon a fly got into the van and we promptly all lost our minds. The girls screamed in terror- seriously though it sounded like they were dying and I lost all self control and said several things I immediately wished I could take back. I saw instantly how much my words hit Shiloh hard. I spoke the type of things I pray my girls will be protected from hearing and believing. It is really hard to be a human, flawed, sinful mom to these precious girls. Tonight when I went to check on them and saw Shiloh sleeping with her stick pony I couldn’t help but kiss her and apologize. Y’all- this mothering gig is hard. And these babies are so precious. Tonight my prayer is that these girls would grow to know who they are and WHOSE they are and that would speak an identity into them much greater than I ever could. #honestmothering #enneagram8 #shiandleni
Naturally I am wired to connect. I am not afraid of conflict and going after a failed connection or a broken relationship. Yet I am learning (slowly) that not all relationships are able or ready to be worked out. AND THAT IS OKAY. It takes two parties that are able and ready to process through to make amends.
I am wired by a very clear set of right and wrong principles and it is unfathomable to me that people don’t always give things their all- or that personal desire would come over “the right thing”. Knowing this about myself, and learning to not hold others to my standard has been a game changer for me.
Betrayal is hard for me. If I feel betrayed my natural instinct is ✌🏼out. Especially for those NOT in my inner circle- I have more margin and desire to work close relationships out.
I am in this constant place of learning when to push forward and when to pull back, it is sweet and hard.
Just some thoughts about my self-growth for this Sunday morning. And a picture with my sweet shiloh just for fun. (Dan and I are fine! These post always gain a message of “are you two okay!?” From someone lol)
#selfgrowth #relationships #moralcode #enneagram8
I wasn’t a very nice mom yesterday. It started with good intentions but the time I should have used to recharge after being “on” non-stop for a week I used to spend 1on1 time with Shiloh. And then the rest of the day was crap. It is hard because both are important, and honestly in the culture we live in 1on1 time with a child would trump alone time for me. But I know myself well and I NEED time without my precious girls- I need a break from Emmaus’ habitual whine, from Shilohs 10000 questions and from correcting Lennon’s harsh tone. And while 1on1 time is vital for my relationships with these girls, me setting myself up to be a healthy mom trumps it. Because this mom gig isn’t about squeezing in self care it is about cultivating wellness. About knowing how to be the best mother I can be and making it happen. There is NO SHAME in needing time to reset- however that looks for you. It has to be intentional and habitual, and it has to be planned- or it simply won’t happen. If you aren’t functioning from a place of wellness no pedicure or massage is gonna help.
My alone time often includes the grocery store, or completing some tasks, but it also involves something that feels fun for me. Because that gives me life.
So shake off that shame and ask for what you need, more than that figure out what you need. Because raising the future is a big deal, and it requires a lot of us and we owe it to our kids and ourselves not to be merely surviving. #motherhoodmusings #honestmothering #raisingasisterhood
I want summer to move slowly. To get some time to do fun things with my girls. They are a little bigger and more capable everyday which is both so fun and I feel a tinge of sadness in how fast the years have gone. Today we had a strawberry patch adventure. Picking wasn’t great and we won’t talk about the $8 of slushees I bought that then they refused to drink 🙄🤦🏼♀️. But they were so sweet to each other, looked diligently for ripe but not rotten berries and they did a great job handling the bugs they encountered. This will be a fun summer with their ages and developmental levels. #summeradventures #justsaynotoslushies #strawberrypicking #shilandleni
Shiloh woke up excited- today was muffins with mom. She loves to celebrate people and she is really good at making people feel loved.
Her teacher read a little book about how the things we do as moms, the thankless things are often what really makes God proud and she reminded us that’s He see’s us in those 3am wake ups.
And while her teacher’s reminder was so needed, This page from the book Shiloh made me brought tears to my eyes.
The best thing about my mom is “taking care of my big sister”. If I feel inadequate in my parenting it has to do with taking good care of Emmaus while also being “enough” for Shiloh and Lennon. Balancing it all well, where to spend time, and how to prioritize most important needs verses the most urgent. To be seen in this way by Shiloh- it undid me a bit.
Thank you Shiloh. You have always been magical to me.
Down to the studs. #newhouse #projectsfordayz
